Teaching Cats

A short story I wrote a while back where Doc, my vampire-hunting Border Collie tries to teach other animals how to hunt vampires.

~~~

“All right you, um, Cats listen up.”

“Doc, I’m not a cat,” Rose, a small Poodle in the front row said.

I tilted my head. “Well, no. You’re a dog. You are supposed to be insulting when you teach things. I saw it on TV.”

“I am a cat. I am not insulted by being one. Perhaps if you called us all dogs. I would find that suitably insulting.”

I looked at the brown Tabby sitting next to Rose and flattened my ears against my head and whined a little. Teaching vampire hunting was turning out to be very difficult. I wished I had Nelli, my Border Collie love, as a student. She would pick up vampire hunting as effortlessly as she herded sheep.

“Okay. Well, then Cats and Dogs, listen up.” I ignored the protest from a couple of other students in the back row. “This is how you hunt dead things. Also known as vampires. They smell dead, so you’ll know what they are.”

“Lots of things smell dead.” The Tabby yawned, putting a delicate white paw over his mouth.

I suppressed a growl only with the greatest of effort. “Yes. These dead things walk though and are very dangerous.”

“I see. Carry on then.”

Rose whined and put her paws over her nose. A few other cats flicked their tails, seeming unconcerned. Some of the dogs looked at each other like they still weren’t sure what was going on. The horse in the background just swished his tail. I hoped they were actually listening.

“Very Dangerous.” I felt I had to say again. “To catch a vampire you look it in the eye and stare at it. You can catch their minds for a while. Then your human can stake them. Let’s practice the eye.” I sank down into a working crouch and stared at my class. A few of the cats shifted nervously. The dogs wagged their tail nervously and the horse, well, did horsey things. I sat up and cocked my head. “Get it? Okay. You try.”

They all stared at me with varying degrees of intensity. The cats were the best at it. There were no other Border Collies in the class.

“Right. We will practice that.”

“So, your human kills the vampire. What do you do when there is no human around?” A Siamese cat with stunning blue eyes asked, stretching lazily.

“Oh I know!” A Lab in the second row spoke up. She jumped up and down, wagging her tail happily.

“Yes?”

“Us dogs stare them in the eye, just like you Doc.” She wagged her tail again and paused to scratch her ear.

I waited as patiently as I could. The cats all looked at the Lab with varying degrees of contempt or annoyance.

“Us cats take over the world, while the dogs are staring at dead things,” A black and white tuxedo cat said from the front row. He licked his paw while he spoke, displaying not only wicked claws, but small almost opposable thumbs. I stared at him, feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

“Um, no.”

The Lab finished scratching. “Yeah, we stare at em, and the cats jump at their faces and scratch their eyes out.”

I, and several of the cats, immediately saw the flaw with this plan. The Siamese shook her head and sauntered away. The Tabby laughed and the tuxedo continued grooming his strange paws. Rose, my Poodle friend, whined again.

“If the cats scratch their eyes out then you won’t be able to hold them still with your stare.”

The Lab wilted. “Oh. Sorry Doc.” She stopped wagging her tail for about five seconds then started again. Grinning.

I sighed. “Ok, let’s practice the stare again. On my count. One… Two…”

Doc chose J. A. (Julie) Campbell to write his stories. He’s a vampire hunting Border Collie and you can read more of his stories on Julie’s website www.writerjacampbell.com. Julie writes fantasy for adults and young adults when she’s not training her own Border Collie to hunt vampires or riding her horse.

This post originally appeared on Devin O’Branagan’s Tails Blog: http://www.tailsinc.com/2012/01/devins-tails-i-create-characters-with-tails/

Elementary Dear Watson

I watched the second Sherlock Holmes tonight (it is Sunday as I write this post). It was a really great movie, full of action, intrigue, fun visuals, entertaining Holmes deductions. It was exactly what I had hoped for. As my boyfriend and I walked out of the theater we discussed the movie, and then some of the movie posters on the walls, such as the new Underworld movie. As we approached the exit my brain switched gears and I literally stopped and one of those scenes from the movie flashed through my mind. The ones where everything slows down and Holmes suddenly knows the next moves in a fight, both his and his opponents. Except it wasn’t a scene from the movie… it was a novel. The story unfolded just like Holmes’ fights. My boyfriend asked me what was wrong and I started to giggle. I did eventually explain to him why I was laughing maniacally and told him the story I’d envisioned on the ride to Wal Mart where the sales associates were treated to little bits and pieces of my insanity as I laid out my story.

I’m not sure what really triggered this explosion but it has happened to me before. Things unfold much like the scenes from the movie and then I have a novel. Perhaps not as complete as the fights that Sherlock Holmes envisions, but it’s a start. And of course there is plenty of work left to be done before I tackle this project. I’ve been working on how to retell a novel I wrote way back when. By working on, I mean pondering every now and again, not seriously considering, but now I have a plan, and perhaps in six months, after I finish my current round of projects, I’ll start in on this project. Yay for brainstorms.

How do novels unfold to you? All at once or a little at a time? Do you have to tear every bit from the page, or does it all explode into place? For me it’s usually a little of both.

As a side note, apparently “Elementary Dear Watson” never actually appears in the books, but came into usage in one of the movies.

Now for a little pimpage. I recently completed reworking (with tons of help from others naturally) and publishing my Vampire-Hunting Dog stories into a single novella. It’s available from Amazon and Barnes and Noble and if you want to know more, you can go to my website.

Doc is a Border Collie who hunts vampires with his human, Kevin. In this adventure they face their first fight and their most dangerous foe. It’s man’s best friend vs. his worst enemy…

One Horrific Summer...

So, I've always been a big fan of books. I can't even remember NOT knowing how to read. I wore out my library card, and always had more books than would fit on the shelf in my room.

But 25 years ago, there were only so many young adult books available. Judy Blume, Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley High - these are what I read the most of because that's what girls my age were supposed to be reading. And there's nothing wrong with those books, it's just that, well, I craved...MORE.

Every summer I would spend a few weeks at my aunt and uncle's house. They were book lovers as well, and truthfully, passed that passion on to me through many a trip to the library or out of the way bookstore. They had loads of books at their house, so one summer, I decided I was going to read some grown-up books.

What did I pick to start with? Salem's Lot by Stephen King. Probably not the best choice for a 12 year old, but I was determined and could not be swayed.

The book scared the crap out of me.

I was mesmerized, and read it all in one day. I read until my eyeballs felt like they would pop out of my head and every noise that house made was a vampire about to get me. I was frightened and exhilarated, and...couldn't wait to read the next one.

Thus began my love affair with horror and the paranormal. I became obsessed, and that summer I also read Cujo, Carrie, Christine, and Firestarter. The world of horror and the paranormal opened up and swallowed me whole. Something about finding fear in the everyday or that there's more to this life than we know totally appealed to 12 year old me and made my imagination take flight.

That's when I really started writing my own stories, filling notebook after notebook, all the while devouring books like a person starved. I specifically became obsessed with vampires, and to this day have one bookcase in my house devoted entirely to vampire fiction.

I owe that "horrific" summer the credit for steering me onto this path of a writer, showing me so much more than I could ever have imagined. Books are and always will be what sustains me. And I pray they continue to inspire and entertain generations to come.

Who knows? Maybe even one of my stories will spark a light in another 12 year old...

All I can do is hope!

Happy Reading!

A Halloween Tail

Since it is Halloween soon, and that also happens to be one of my favorite holidays, I thought I'd share a story with you all.
A little background for the story. Doc is a vampire-hunting dog and the stories are told from his point of view. He's a Border Collie. Doc hunts with his human, Kevin. This story assumes you are at least sort of familiar with the characters (hence the brief intro), and if you enjoy it, you are welcome to check out a few other stories on my website here: http://writerjacampbell.wordpress.com/docs-stories/


Doc's Halloween

I looked ridiculous.

And I wasn’t happy about it.

“Oh, come on Doc, it’s fine.”

I flattened my ears against my head and sulked, refusing to walk in the stupid human clothing. My human said I was a bat. I wanted to tear the fake ears from my head and the cape from my back, but I would leave them on to make Kevin happy. He’d been so sad recently.

My human was dressed in a similar cape with fake dead-thing fangs. I thought he looked stupid too.

“Let’s go Doc.”

I stared in horror as he went out the front door. He couldn’t possibly expect me to go out in public like this? What if Nelli found out? I snorted at that thought, Nelli had no idea who I was, but that didn’t mean I was going outside.

“Doc, come.” His voice was stern, and I had to obey. I slunk across the floor “Let’s go.”

I whined in protest but I followed him outside. I couldn’t even look at Rose, the poodle next door, as we walked past but I thought I heard her snicker. I wasn’t even comforted by the familiar surroundings of our park when we arrived. It was full of people who looked just as dumb as we did.

Kevin walked to a table and handed me a piece of meat. I grudgingly accepted and followed when he started talking to other humans. I knew some of them, some of them I didn’t, but I ignored them all, even when they tried to pet me.

“He’s not happy about being a bat tonight,” my human said.

I whined.

“I’m going to take him to the edge of the crowd for a while. I’ll be back.”

I followed Kevin, happy to be out of the crowd. He leaned against a tree and I leaned against his leg, anxious for the night to be over.

The only warning I had was a faint whiff of garlic and then my human crumpled to the ground, trapping me beneath his body.

* * *

“Doc!”

I lurched to my feet, staggered, and fell down.

“If you’ve hurt my dog!”

“Your demon you mean?”

“Look you stupid twits, I am not a vampire. It’s Halloween, this is a costume. My dog is not a demon.”

I heaved, and puked all over someone’s feet.

“Demon venom! It’ll infect me!” a human wailed.

I winced as the sound pierced my head.

“You poisoned him. Of course he’s sick.”

I heaved one more time and then lay down at Kevin’s feet and whined – then stopped when the sound rattled my head.

“You and your demon dog will be cleansed by the light of the rising sun.”

I didn’t know what the stupid human was talking about, I just wished he would shut up. He was hurting my head.

“What have you guys been smoking?” My human sounded more annoyed than afraid, so I guessed whatever had happened to us couldn’t be that bad.

The other humans didn’t answer Kevin. They did start chanting and placing candles all around the room. I watched until they lit one of them then I had to shut my eyes to avoid more pain in my head.

“What are you doing?” my human asked.

“Preparing for the ritual cleansing.”

“Don’t stop chanting!” The other human snarled at the first.

“Sorry,” the second muttered.

The chant continued and I started to feel better. In fact I started to feel down right thirsty, so I got to my feet, and stayed there this time. I cast about for some water and saw a bowl by one of the human’s feet. I wagged my tail and trotted over to him. He screeched as I stuck my nose in the bowl. There was a small amount of water and I lapped it up before going back to lie at my human’s feet again.

“The demon, he didn’t react to the holy water,” one of them whispered.

“Of course not,” Kevin said. “He’s a dog, not a demon.”

“Maybe we should just stake them and get it over with.” The other human slammed his book shut.

I could smell the first hint of fear from Kevin. He tried to get up from his chair and growled when he couldn’t.

“Come on kids. I’m not a vampire.”

I tuned my human and the other humans out. The things they said meant little too me, but I was starting to understand that Kevin and I didn’t want to be here. I saw the door, it was close but my human was stuck to his chair. I scooted around behind him and saw rope on his hands.

Inspired, I started to chew.

The humans noticed eventually, but it was too late. Kevin jerked his hands free just as one of the other humans cried out in alarm. Kevin stumbled forward and both he and the other human toppled to the ground, extinguishing some candles in the process. Kevin lurched to his feet and the one on the ground cried out.

The other human wasn’t a dead thing, but he did hold a big stick and he was swinging it at Kevin. I barked a warning and threw my whole body into the human’s chest, sending him to the ground. He hit his head on the table as he fell and didn’t move once he was down.

The other human moaned from the ground.

“Come on Doc, let’s get out of here.”

I followed and we raced out of the basement and into the early morning light.

“Now I think I might know how the vampires feel,” Kevin said softly as we stood in the driveway.

I woofed quietly.

“Ok, let’s call the cops. And next Halloween… we’re staying home.”

I wagged my tail happily when my human removed my stupid costume and ruffled my ears.

“What would I do without you Doc?”

I grinned.

Taking Chances: Love Triangles

Apologies for the tardiness of my post. I thought I had it up already :(

You know, when I started writing, I always thought love triangles were kind of silly. Sure a girl (or guy) might be lucky enough that two people are really into them at the same time, but in my experience when that happened there was usually an easy decision involved. It was pretty rare for two people to have an equal shot. And even though love triangles are common in both romance and YA, I don't always like to write them for one simple reason.

They're hard to get right.

For starters, you have to devote time and energy to both relationships. If you make it too easy for the reader to guess the "winner", you it means you aren't really best utilizing the trope. If you don't really have a "Team Stefan" versus "Team Damon" thing going on, why bother with it because odds are it won't really add anything to the story or the reader's experience. So, sometimes the romance is pretty straightforward for me. One couple. Period.

That doesn't mean I won't make things hard for them. And it doesn't mean I won't tear them apart for a while before they realize they should have been together all along, but in those instances, the reader will be the one yelling at the book, "No! He's no good for you!" They'll be in on things and understand that the couple who started together should be together.

But right now... I haz a love triangle.

I think I've given both characters enough time to make readers root for both of them, but I'm nervous about the whole thing. You see... it isn't a standard love triangle and it sure as hell doesn't get resolved the way most of them do. I've made jokes about it recently to my magical unicorns (aka--betas-of-awesome), but even they seem a little leery of this one.

Fortunately or unfortunately, it's the right story for this character--it's what she needs, on a lot of levels--so I doubt I'll change it.

Someone once told me that I'm not afraid to

take risks in my writing. Great compliment, but so very, very untrue. It terrifies me every stinking time. It's like being afraid of heights and trying to conquer the fear by zip-lining and bungee-jumping and sky-diving. Even if you love the adrenaline rush, there's that moment when you're standing on the edge, staring at the jump, and you don't feel even a twinge of excitement. Because in that instant (however brief), you're scared to death. That's how I feel whenever I do something in my work that pushes boundaries or isn't "mainstream" enough.

Problem is, when you're standing there, you only have two options: jump or go home. So far, I've always managed to jump.

I just always pray I don't die on my way down.

So, dear readers, tell me the truth. How do you feel about authors who take risks (small or big, differentiate if you like)?

Movie Time

I've been a vampire fan for ages and since I've been revisitng my love of bad boy vamps on film I thought I'd share some of my favorites.

Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula (made for TV 2000) Love, love, LOVE this! Mixing history with a touch paranormal.

Check out Rudolf Martin as the ultimate Vlad in this trailer for Dark Prince

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) Love this version. Oldman is spectacular. Hopkins a neat Van Helsing, Keanu is hot in a frock coat. If we could cut out Winona it would be even grander :P

Nosferatu (1922) Ewww ewww, creepy! Get him away!

Count Dracula (Made for TV 1971)Nice adaptation of Stoker's book with French film legend Louis Jourdan being so suavely chilling.

The Night Stalker (made for TV 1972) Lots of fun with a pain in the butt reporter /vampire hunter.

Love at First Bite (1979) Lots of fun with a cute romance.

Dracula (1979) Played a bit fast & loose with Stoker but Langella was to die for as the sexy count.

Vampire (made for TV 1979) Ranks up there with Night Stalker on my list of TV faves. I'm a sucker for arrogant vamps and no one does arrogant like Richard Lynch.

Salem's Lot (made for TV 1979)Creepy

Fright Night (1985) Creepy and fun. I hear the new remake is good.

Lost Boys (1987) Fun, fun FUN with some thrills

Innocent Blood (1992) Not the best movie but they shot the opening near my house.

John Carpenter's Vampires (1998) Action adventure vamp hunting

Shadow of the Vampire (2000) Ironic & creepy story of the filming of the above Noseferatu.

Dracula 2000 (2000) Gerard Butler is yummy and it has a neat spin on Dracula's origin.

Lost Boys: The Thirst (Direct to video 2010) Not the best sequel but it captures the spirit of the original by reuniting the awesome Frog Brothers.

So, what are some of your faves?

Welcome to Hell House...

I didn't set out to write young adult. It happened purely by accident. After I'd published my first novel, a contemporary romance, the publisher sent out a submission call for "holidays gone wrong" short stories. I'm always up to a challenge, so I decided to wrack my brain and see what I could come up with. Almost immediately, my head was filled with every holiday fiasco I could fathom, and each scenario centered around a teenager. Characters filled my head with chatter, and Holiday Hell House was born.

There’s no place like Hell House for the holidays…
At least that’s what Danielle Stewart hopes for as the director of Hellsner Halfway House for Troubled Paranormal Teens. But all her plans come to an abrupt halt with the help of bickering teens, unannounced zombies, and a portal to hell, among other things. When the arguing leads to things quite literally going up in smoke, will Danielle find that her true calling lies elsewhere, or will the help of an unexpected angel show her the family she has longed for is right before her eyes?

That one small story opened up a new world for me. These characters screamed for my attention, demanding their stories be told. I'm typically more of a plotter when I write, but this time, I just seemed to be able to take a back seat while the characters drove their own stories.

Teenage fairy, Sora Starwind, was the first to demand her fair share of my time. Always honest, sometimes rude, Sora was banished from her people and wasn't too happy about it at all.


Sora Starwind just wants to have a normal life. Well, as normal as a banished teenage fairy living in a halfway house for paranormals can have. Squashing her magic mishaps is just part of the equation. Catching the eye of a certain hottie named Liam Crawford would be a plus, if she could only figure out how to not act like a complete dork around him. Then a surprise visit from her estranged mother brings an ultimatum that threatens to turn Sora’s world upside down. Unexpectedly faced with her past, Sora has to find the inner strength to deal with her banishment, but there’s more to her story than even she knows…

Sora came to life so brightly in my head, and her story kept surprising me at each and every turn. But then, Mr. Liam Crawford laid a secret of his own on her, and made her life even more complicated than it already was.


Teenage fairy, Sora Starwind, is finally making her way in the mortal world. The guy of her dreams, Liam Crawford, has asked her to his school’s Spring dance, and she finally feels, well, normal. Trouble is, Liam has a secret of his own that brings with it a whole new set of complications. Not only does Sora have to worry about Liam’s friends liking her, she also has to guard his secret, and deal with the school harlot that wants Liam for her own. Add a pair of obsessed paranormals that intend to unleash more chaos than just ruining her evening and Sora finds her newfound control stretched to the brink. Can she find more answers than questions this time, so that this first dance won’t also be her last?

I'm truly enjoying the ride this series is taking me on. There are so many stories to be told, I hope I can keep up with them! Zombies, fairies, shifters, ogres, imps - Hell House has them all! And I'm so excited to be able to share them with you!

--Christle Gray was born and raised in Ohio, but lives in Kentucky with her husband and one frisky black cat. She's a Gemini, which means she's of two minds about everything, and has more projects in progress than she can ever hope to complete in one lifetime. Her interests vary as widely as her opinions, and she's in no short supply of either. Just go ahead and ask. One of the many voices yammering on in her head is bound to answer.

Visit me on the web! www.christlegray.com

Ponies!!!!

Since this is my first post here I thought I’d do a sort of introduction. My name is Julie Campbell. I write under the name J.A. Campbell because there’s already a famous Julie Campbell – Trixie Belden books anyone? Sheesh, taking my name… the nerve.

I’m an author, rider, reader, animal lover. My bio says I live in Colorado with my three cats, my horse and my dog, which would be true, except that my horse actually lives about 15 minutes from my house, but it’s close enough for bio purposes.

Reading is a passion that has past beyond obsession. I read almost as much as I write, devouring books at a rate that makes my Kindle almost necessary now that I have one. Otherwise I predict my floor would collapse under the weight of piles of books within the next five years. I read fantasy, urban fantasy, science fiction, both adult and young adult. Every once in a while I delve into realms outside of my main reading habits, but it is rare.

Writing is also a passion that has gone beyond obsession. Even if I never got published I’d write. It’s become such an integral part of who I am. I’m very lucky to have recently earned the title of author. That’s such an amazing thing to me. I still giggle when I tell people I’m an author. Guess what, I write young adult and adult fantasy and urban fantasy. Bet you never would have guessed.

I love animals. I always have. I grew up with dogs and my own horde began with Tux, my male tuxedo cat. He claimed me as a kitten and paved the way for the other two cats that have come into my life over the last eight years. I’ve also had my horse for almost eight years. She’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Every little girl dreams of owning her own horse. (Well, not every little girl, but close!) How lucky am I that I get to live that dream? Sabaska, my Arabian mare, is my inspiration for many story ideas, and she’s the main character of my fantasy novel coming out later this year called Arabian Dreams. Yes, I love to write about animals. Kira is my year old Border Collie puppy and she has also inspired stories. Doc, my vampire-hunting dog, is based off of her. I do have stories without animals in them. Senior Year Bites doesn’t really have any animals. I mention a deer at one point, but that’s about it.

Anyway, that’s more than enough about me. Thanks for dropping in. Tell me, what sorts of books do you like to read? What are your favorites?