Be Part of the Solution

Today's post isn't about writing, it's about kids and it's about life. If you're looking for writing, I'm sure that'll be back tomorrow or Monday. For today though, this matters more.

On Thursday, a news report came up on my twitter feed--another tale of suicide likely caused by bullying. This time it was a ten-year-old little girl from a small town in Illinois. Most of the time when tales of bullying come out, the victim was homosexual or something that people can look at and say "my kid's not". They are still angry over the bullying, but they feel like it won't ever happen to their kid.

Ashlynn Conner wasn't gay, and from what I can tell, she wasn't handicapped or special ed or any of those other things that make parents think this shit only happens to other kids. The bullying reportedly started when she got a short haircut and some other girls started calling her a boy. Regarding interviews with the kids reportedly involved, even the police said, "We haven't uncovered anything so severe that it would result in someone taking their own life."

Surprise, assholes, unless someone killed her, she did take her own life. People need to wake up and realize that all bullying is wrong. All bullying has the potential to kill.

Rest in Peace, Ashlynn.

I'm sitting her bawling while I try to write this. You see, once upon a time, I was a lot like that little girl. I was the one whose mom cut her hair short and wouldn't buy her the clothes that were in style. I was also the one who hit puberty early, which meant I developed way before my peers. I was the one who wasn't pretty or thin enough. Who was too tall and too smart. As much as I loved school, there were days I dreaded going because of the teasing and bullying. Had home schooling been an option back then, like Ashlynn, I might have begged for it.

I was one of the lucky ones. I made it through, but I will tell you, that little girl? The one who had every popular kid making fun of her for years? She's still inside me, and she still hurts. There is no real healing for long-term victims of bullying. Those scars last forever. So I'm lucky in that I'm still around to carry them. I'm still here to show my own kids that it is possible to come out the other side and be strong and happy. Because it does get better. But I'm also here to do my damnedest to make sure they don't give those kinds of scars to anyone else.

As parents, teachers... as human beings, we need to step up and start protecting all kids. And sometimes that's going to mean we have to punish the ones who live in our homes for their behavior. We don't get the option of writing it off as "kids'll be kids" because kids are dying.

Ashlynn Conner was smart. She was pretty. She wanted to "become a veterinarian because 'people hurt animals, and she wanted to protect them.'" That's the life that the bullies took this time. That's what all those girls are going to have to live with now--that they had a hand in killing her. Had the adults around them stood up and collectively said "No. This is not okay." and put a stop to it and punished the bullies, Ashlynn Conner would still be rescuing stray cats, and the others wouldn't have to live the rest of their lives with blood on their hands.

We're the adults. We need to be part of the solution.

(Read this now or later or never, but all quotes came from this article.)